Cometary Tales Blog,Secrets of the Grand Canyon Day Zero: Get Thee To Flagstaff

Day Zero: Get Thee To Flagstaff

There is no simple way to orchestrate the travel here.  Yes, planes fly to Flagstaff, not the same airlines as fly to the big airports but their small-scale partners.  There’s a shuttle bus from Phoenix, and if you were facing a long layover the van could even be faster.

A view of the Grand Canyon we did not see on our flights (courtesy of Google Earth)

But we arrive in Phoenix with plane tickets in hand and actually welcome a half-hour flight delay, because it allows us a chance to buy lunch.  I even have time for a stroll through the overpriced-souvenir shop, where I hand over $2 for a pair of elastic bands someone in the shop has put out to support a fundraiser for improving water supplies in Haiti.  Seems appropriate. And the chance to put up our feet for a half-hour is welcome, as we’re already tired.  We actually began yesterday, on Day “-1”, with a five-hour drive to rendezvous with Clark’s friend, who lives near Reno, so we could all travel together the whole way.  Our Day Zero expedition consisted of a drive from the pine forests of Plumas County to the desert flats of Reno’s outskirts, a freeway jaunt to the airport (chauffered by another friend), a big plane to Phoenix, a little plane to Flagstaff, then a search for the airport shuttle.  We will have a powerful case of deja vu on Day Fourteen.   You’ll see.

Flagstaff’s airport is a fabulous, small airport.  My favorite kind.  One baggage claim zone.  No trouble meeting a shuttle bus right outside.  As it happens, the other folks sharing the van are another couple going on our trip.  And they have obtained an intelligence report from the rafting company, OARS, that we five will be the only “guests” staying on the raft trip for the full fourteen days.   The rest of the group will leave halfway (and hike out), to be replaced by a new batch of folks for the second week.  So we will actually get to spend a full fifteen days with Todd and Eliza.  Oh, yeah, and until such time as the members of our trip group authorize me to use their names, I will be using fake names, just in case I goof up and say something upsetting or someone turns out to be in Witness Protection.  I won’t do the same for the crew, since I want to actually give them the props they deserve.  In fact, I’d hope this whole piece could be considered a humungous letter of reference for each and every person on the crew.  I’d initially given myself permission to use my own and my husband’s names, but he protested, so here goes.  He is herewith dubbed “Clark”.  And what to call Childhood Friend?  How about Lana?  And surely that makes me “Lois”.  The only funny thing about this, is that I actually have a friend called Lois–so, hey, Lois, you can tell people this is you.  (Fair warning, though, I’m not the heroine of this story!)

The key element of Day Zero is the evening briefing from the Trip Leader.  We gather in one of the Radisson Hotel’s conference rooms.   (The Midway guests also will have a briefing, but not by the Trip Leader , as she will be a mile downhill at the time.)  So we meet our first authentic River Guide.  This is Billie Prosser, who’s been whitewater rafting since she was a teenager, over fifteen years now, much of that time in the Grand Canyon.  These days, she chooses to do only a few of these Grand Canyon trips a year, giving herself the chance to work on other rivers and also to have time for a private trip, as time permits, to enjoy the Canyon without having to take care of people like us.

At the meeting, we also get our first glimpse of our fellow travelers all together.  We are heavily loaded with Californians and Canadians.   There are three women from Canada—their menfolk didn’t want to come.  There’s two father-son duos: one a dad and his athletic teenager, the other a Bechtel project technician taking a voluntary layoff to make the trip with his dad, a (putatively) retired actor and writer.  The Fab Five (Todd & Eliza and the three of us–Lois, Clark, and Lana) are all from California.   The actor, who takes care during the meeting to firmly establish that he’s the most-senior member of the troupe, has also brought along a childhood friend—a woman he hadn’t seen since high school.  While he keeps us entertained, I get the vague feeling he sort of expects someone to recognize him.  Then there’s another triad…a husband and wife and one of their friends.  Is that sixteen?

We get a quick summary of what to expect in the morning.  The crucial item is to have our gear packed and in the lobby by quarter to seven and be ready to leave by seven.  There’s a little last-minute advice on what to be sure to bring.  In case something’s been forgotten, there’s a WalMart in walking distance.  We’re advised to bring lots and lots of moisturizer.  I ask for a definition of “lots”, which it seems is a 16 oz bottle per person per week.  Oh, my goodness, I didn’t bring that much, so we have a trip to WalMart in the plans already.  We’re issued our “drybags”, each labeled with our own personal real names.  (Amazingly, they don’t know to use the fake names I will make up in the future for this blog.)  And Billie gives us a five-minute seminar on how to seal the drybags.  This is important, as all of our clothing and personal items go in this bag, which will then be tied onto a raft and frequently doused with water.  We’re each also issued a small drybag.  The big bag is inaccessible except in camp.  The day bag serves to keep dry what we need to keep dry but have access to during the day.  And we’re allowed to bring whatever we like in our daypacks as well, provided we understand that these will get drenched in larger rapids or if it rains.  The drybags don’t have our personal names on them.  Instead, they each have an identifying name written in Sharpie,  to individualize them.  We just each have to remember our bag’s name.  Mine is “Turpentine Broom”.  Lana’s is “Grease Bush”.  And Clark selects the distinctly memorable “#73”.  Mine is the best.  Here is all about Turpentine Broom  and Grease Bush.  I expect we’ll encounter these plants on our journey.  In the meantime, the names help, as the bags come in only a few colors.

I’m relieved to hear there will be a bag for boots, as this will make room in my kit for all that moisturizer.  Others are relieved to hear that their beer and wine orders have been filled.  Some are anxious to double-check on that after the meeting.  Billie has the checklist.  Evidently, this is a common anxiety.

Then we are off to WalMart.  Yes, our first act upon crossing the moment into our trip environment is to walk down a suburban city street, past a dark and quiet Home Depot, an active supermarket, and a Bank of America with lights glowing invitingly above its ATM, to shop in the megabehemoth of a store that was launched just a few miles from Clark and Lana’s home town.   But oh, they do indeed have It All.  More sunblock.  I must have more sunblock.  Moisturizer, per Billie’s recommendations.  Handy dry facewash cloths to get all that sunblock off.  And a tripod.  What was I thinking, leaving home without a tripod?  And a little mini flex-tripod for Clark.  Sweet.  Now all we have to do is haul this all back to the hotel and get everything crammed into our bags.

And, well, the bag-cramming takes a little while.  Maybe more than a little while.   Part of it is deciding which things are OK in the backpack (maybe in a Ziploc bag, maybe not), which need to go in the daybag, and which can be done without and stuffed in the main drybag.  I have the extra variant that I really have 2 daypacks. One is a one-shoulder sling pack that keeps my cameras and other hiking essentials from bearing down on my healing shoulder and when not in use tucks into the main pocket of my large daypack.  The main daypack takes my raingear, a dry set of fleece sealed in ziplocs, my tripod, and other handy items.  It’s big, it’s bulky, I will make Clark carry it as much as possible.  But it all fits.  And while I fancy myself adept at this sort of thing, it is Clark who is already proving to be better at sealing the big drybag.  He says it is just that he can squish it down better, being a bit heavier, but I think there is more to it than that.  I will keep insisting on doing my bag myself for about four more days.  Then I will give up and let him do it for me.

One last shower and a thorough hair washing.  It will be 2 weeks without a shampooing, at least for me.  I do not want to look at the setting on the alarm clock.  It is just too awful to contemplate.

 

You might also like to read:

News FlashNews Flash

Nowadays, everyone says a writer needs a newsletter. I’m beginning to lose count of the number of things I’m supposed to produce that isn’t my stories. But what about all those goodies that don’t make it into the stories?

  • That chapter I deleted. The one that’s now just a couple of sentences buried in a conversation. Well, more like, how that works, how you decide to kill off 3000 words in exchange for 50, for the sake of the story.
  • The interview between me and my MC, you know, the one that went over so well at that open mic.
  • My research on the folk sayings that spark each of the chapters in Wind and Smoke. The ones that prove that Ireland and South Korea are pretty much the same.
  • The things I want to tell agents. Not mean things. Just advice. Would you sign with an agency if their website takes 20 seconds to load a page?
  • I could blurt out some of the things I wanted to say at book club, because other people sure have a lot to say. Or is it not OK to reveal that writers are readers, too?

Dangit.

I have all that stuff.

So now I have a new work-in-progress.

I won’t be sending a newsletter more often than monthly, because that’s what I like in a newsletter. Maybe the occasional special edition, like when I sign with an agent or get that next book deal.

Target date for first issue: Let’s make it Valentine’s Day.

Penny Cards–last century’s newsletter
(Public Domain, from Newberry Library via Wikimedia Commons)

Reader! The Game’s Afoot!Reader! The Game’s Afoot!

Have I got a game for you! You will master the ultimate algorithm, the one that conceals from you the books you love, the writers you want to see more from.  This is your day, the day you will take command of the Amazon algorithm and make it do your bidding, release it from its subservience to major publishers and fake reviews, and bring unto yourself all the glory of the liberator.

Your secret weapon? The review.

If you want your favorite writers to succeed, by bringing their stories, information, or artistry (yes–graphic novels are books) to more readers, they need reviews.

Have you noticed, if you search for a book a friend has told you about, but it wasn’t a best-seller, that you had to work hard to find it? That’s because your friend’s recommended book didn’t have enough reviews. Amazon doesn’t like books without a lot of reviews. The great god Bezos promotes only those with at least a couple of dozen reviews. (The true trigger value is a secret, but statisticians tell us that roughly 25 is absolutely necessary to make it into search.) So tell your friend to write a review. Write one yourself.

It’s not hard.

Here are some qualifying reviews:

An actual review, from Smashwords

“I read this book. It was nice. It had characters in it and I liked some of them.”

“This is a useful book with information in it.”

“Shipped quickly and arrived in good condition.”

I know. Really? Really.

Algorithms do not care if you, the reviewer, have the time and energy to craft a New York Times Book Section Review. Besides, if you did that, the paper should pay you, right?

Click on “Edit” to pick a cute reviewer name

Are you shy? (I am, so I understand.) Did you know that in your Amazon settings you can give yourself a reviewer pseudonym? There’s a little Edit button right next to your name at the top of the review page.

Now that you’re ready, start with the easiest gift you can give that writer you like. Post a quick note that you read the book, you liked it (and no, you don’t have to give it five stars, but, please, don’t take off stars if the site you’re posting to had trouble shipping it or the bookseller sent a copy that wasn’t quite whole–that’s a job for the complaints desk, not the review box).

That gets you to Level 1 of Review, The Game. <Sparkling fireworks appear>

Wanna go to Level 2?

Help out your fellow readers. What will they enjoy when they try this book? Add a few sentences to your review to let others know what it was you liked and to give some hints about the content. Is it a wild, exciting adventure tale? A romance that made you cry? A self-help book that made a difference in your life? For fiction, if you’re going to reveal plot points, your fellow readers ask that you put such reveals below a simple message, “Spoiler Alert.” It’s OK to share spoilers, just let the sensitive ones know it’s time to skip.

This kind of review may end up being a paragraph or an essay, whatever you want.

Bing! You’ve achieved Level 2! Congratulations!!! <Shower of fluttery butterfly confetti>

OK, grab a fresh cup of whatever. You’re going to level up again. You’re hooked on this game, now, right?

This level’s easy. You’ve already written your review. Now, spread it around. Amazon isn’t the only place you go for books, right? Go to Barnes and Noble, find the book there, and post the same review. If you bought on Smashwords, do the same there (they want reviews only from their own buyers, but the price points are great if you like digital.)

The super-easy review page on Rakuten Kobo.

Visit Rakuten Kobo and connect with the international market! Did you know there’s a “Write a Review” button on Google Books? Have you an account on any other bookstore sites, like indigo.ca? You own your review; you can post it wherever you like–on your blog, or your Facebook page, or your Twitter feed, even.

DingDingDingDingDing! Level 3 Mastered. <Cascade of shiny shimmeryjewel-toned sprites>

Relax. You got this.

Go to Goodreads. If you are not already a member, now’s the time to find all the friends you never knew you had. Let yourself roam the stacks, build your virtual pile of books you have read, that you plan to read, that you’re currently reading. Once you come up for air, find the book you’re reviewing, and drop that commentary here. You have found your most appreciative audience. Note that on Goodreads, you can make your fav writer happy by just putting their book on your to-read list.

See? Goodreads lets fans announce they plan to read a book, or drop a happy five-star rating, or share their opinions and insights on the book in a review.

You are home. Stir yourself up a lovely cup of hot cocoa.

Bask in the warmth of Level 4. You have achieved nirvana. You no longer need . . .

Sure you do. <Tremendous fanfare of victory! Coruscating fusillade of fireworks! Thundering drumrolls! Rainbow confetti made of actual rainbows!>

Across your game screen, the following banner floats, surrounded by pink and purple and gold hearts and stars:

Your Writers Love You Soooooo Much

They really do.

Now, go read another book.

Oh, if by some chance it’s my book you’re thinking of reviewing, here are the links to go straight to the places I mentioned above:

Amazon (This takes you directly to the review form.)

Barnes and Noble (Scroll down until you see the Customer Reviews section, then click to add yours.)

Smashwords: (Smashwords wants you to purchase the book there. Scroll down to the review section to add a review.)

Rakuten Kobo (Just page down a bit to the Write Your Review button.)

Google (Yes, a direct link to the review form.)

Are you in Canada? Then you know indigo books! Have an account on indigo.ca? (Look for “Write a Review” button just below the book specs.)

Êtes-vous en France? Mon livre est sur amazon.fr. (Partagez votre opinion avec les autres clients. Écrire un commentaire client.)

And, of course:

See you on Goodreads! (This is a direct link to the review form.)

It’s All About the SandIt’s All About the Sand

OK, Time for Our First Entry in SECRETS REVEALED!!!

#1  It’s All About the Sand

Approaching a Grand Canyon rafting trip, all you think about are those thrilling rapids, the blazing sun, and the electrifying/drenching thunderstorms. Your packing list is heavy on waterproof gear, quick-drying clothing, sunblock, and hats.  But at least half of your time is spent in the Kingdom of the Sand Demon, and you will be reminded of that for weeks to come, as you find sand in yet another impermeable item.

Think of it this way:  the glistening white sand beaches along the Colorado River are formed of particles eroded from a mile of rock—much of it sandstone, no less, and almost all of it the product of eons of marine sedimentary deposition—with the grinding-down happening over five or six million years.  All those thousands of thousands of years of tumbling in the river yields sand so fine that it blows right through your tent walls.  Yes, really.  You will snuggle down to sleep in your little tent with the windows and doors zipped tight (because you did notice all that sand out there and were even sharp enough to notice that the wind tends to shift its direction and roar turbulently down the canyon every evening).  And you will wake up with a layer of dust-scale sand all over your gear, your sleeping bag, your mat, and your face.

Yes, beautiful sandy beaches!

Yes, beautiful sandy beaches!

So—once you think about it, there is no mystery.  Ultrafine sand plus forceful winds equals sand in everything.  Most of the time it is a minor annoyance, an opportunity to bond with your travelmates: “Yep, I have sand in my beer/cocoa/coffee/soda/water, too.” Sometimes, it’s just another technical chore, such as brushing the sand out of your waterproof camera housing.  But sometimes, it’s a way to mark yourself as a seasoned river-runner:  the clean, safe water supply at Phantom Ranch was “turbid” (nanoscale sand, yes?) when we stopped by—so Billie advised the crew to pump water through the team’s super-filters for refills, instead of simply using the Park Service’s ready-to-use water, in order to avoid giving the new arrivals an unpleasant surprise on their first day.  We old hands merely filled our bottles at the tap and chugged the wetness gratefully.

On occasion, it’s more than annoying (see my Day Two Morning whine-session).   To quickly recover from the more-than-annoying times, bring the following:  an eye cup and a tube of liquid tears.  If you have any dry-eye issues, make sure to bring your medication.  If your weight allowance allows, tuck in a bottle of pH-balanced eyewash.  If you don’t need these supplies, fine.  But if someone else does, you will make a friend for life!

And to save those supplies for being a hero, apply an ounce of prevention.  If you’re a side-sleeper, face away from the tent walls.   Tuck a headband in your gear—if you find yourself waking up with sand in your face, use the headband as a night-time eye covering and wash your face in the morning.  Shake the sand out of your sleeping gear before packing it away in the morning.  Try to keep your hands reasonably clean—humans are always putting their fingers in their eyes, but you sure notice it more when you rub sand into them!  And if you must sleep under the stars, tent-free, choose a less-comfortable spot out of the sand-blow.  (You’ll realize the guides don’t concern themselves with tents—but they are usually bunking down on their boats.  On the water.  Away from the sand.)

Keep in mind, this is no excuse to Avoid The Trip.  Just one of the Secrets they don’t tell in the literature.  To paraphrase one of Clark’s favorite poets, Robert W. Service, “It isn’t the river ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your eye”.

Want to read the real quote, and more?  A good place to start is Goodreads.  Yes.  Pun intended.

And remember, add $10 to your budget for:

A proper eye cup.  Bring your old glass version if you have one--this the the best out there now.

A proper eye cup. Bring your old glass version if you have one–this is the best plastic one.

adforeyewash

Kinder than water and sand-free.

liquidtears

Helpful dose for irritated eyes…not the stinging “red out” stuff.

 

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